Another Day
by OhmyGreysCPD
Summary: For Erin and Jay it was just another day at work. Doing what they love most with who they love most. Little did they know that this day was definitely not just another day at work.
1. Chapter 1

She walked up into the bullpen with a cup of coffee in one hand and a file in the other. It was a Monday, the most awful day of the week for everyone. It was another day at work doing the same thing they do every other day, fight crime. It just didn't feel the same to Erin. She had a feeling ever since she left this morning, an indescribable feeling but a feeling. As she entered the bullpen she quickly discarded that feeling as she the guys gave her a quiet 'Good morning' as Voight was all ready to give out the details.

"Glad you showed up this morning," Voight said as he looked down at his watch.

"Sorry, I got caught up with personal things but I finished getting all the files." she replied.

Voight nodded at her and she quickly moved towards her desk. As she sat down her eyes interlocked with her partner sitting across from her. She smiled as she saw that he was already staring at her.

Before their eye linger could go on any longer there was an awkward silence followed with Voight interrupting their moment.

"If you don't mind I'd like to get started on this case." He implied to both Lindsay and Halstead causing them to turn their attention towards Voight.

"Alright, Jerry Spindell. He is the man we're looking for, he has been arrested several times for assault, drug transportation, drug use, and breaking and entering. Word on the street is that he and a group of men are working for someone in transporting cocaine from Mexico into the United States. It's been an ongoing situation in many states and he's made his way to Chicago-"

"How do you know that?" Antonio asked.

"Like I said, word on the street." He replied.

"Anyways, there's this party going on at Club Rouge and apparently that group has connections with the person throwing the party. With that said, I'm going to need the team to go undercover tonight. I want Halstead with Lindsay, Antonio, Ruzek, and Atwater together, and me and Olinksy. For now just find me as many files as you can on the people that are connected in this group before we actually go on."

They all nodded and Erin got up to go to the break room while Jay quickly followed her.

"You didn't call last night," He said as he watched Erin pour a cup of coffee

"I got busy with some things, look I hope that now since we've made everything official we don't have to call each other every single minute of every single day because that won't work for me Jay."

"I don't expect that either but you didn't talk to me for the entire day, I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"Fair enough, how about I make it up to you. Tomorrow night, dinner at my house, I'll make you something special," she told him rather than asked him.

"Dinner? Made by you? That's a first, but I'll bring over some takeout just in case." He teased

She stared at him with one hand on her hip, a smirk on her face as he just teasingly insulted her. "Are you saying that I can't cook? Because every other guy that I met has said otherwise."

He let out a defeated sigh as she came back with a good but unexpected remark. "Well played Erin, alright tomorrow, at 7?"

"That'd be perfect. Also what does Voight expect us to do or dress up as for this undercover mission?" she said completely changing the subject as she walked out of the break room with her coffee in her hand over to his desk.

"I don't know, he wasn't very specific about it. But you better take it easy because we all know how the last undercover mission went for you." He said as he went behind his desk and leaned over to talk to Erin.

"C'mon Jay. Are you going to bring that up again? The guy caught me off guard and I was fine, you and Voight just overreacted."

"Overreacted? Erin, if it weren't for Voight and I you probably wouldn't even be sitting here right now." he fought back.

"You're right, I did have you to save me. And I'm glad you were there for me, you always are."

"It's why you have backup." He smiled at her as she moved over to her desk.

A few hours passed and Voight stepped out of the office and collected all the information from everyone.

"Okay, so here's the plan. Halstead and Lindsay are going to go in as a normal couple to scope out the place to see if anyone from that group is there. Olinsky and i will be parked out on the north end. Ruzek, Atwater, and Antonio I need you three to enter the club as well but head to the poker section or any of the private areas and listen around to see if anything is suspicious. Got it?" He asked

Everyone nodded in unison. Jay on the other hand dozed off a bit earlier in Voight's demands as he heard him say, "As a normal couple…" He smiled at the thought of them two being a normal couple, but to anyone else going into a club to end a drug chain isn't really normal.

"Hello, earth to Jay?" Erin said as she waved her hands over his face to get him out of his daze.

"Lets go lover boy, Voight wants us to head out soon." she said.

The both of them headed to the locker room to change up into something nicer to look more presentable at the scene.

Jay finished getting ready rather quickly while Erin took time, as usual, so he waited on the bench until she finally came out.

In that moment something came over Jay. He watched Erin walk out in front of him wearing a tight black dress that had a low cut showing off her pushed up boobs, it clung onto her waist perfectly and ended right above her knees. She wore black heels making her a few inches taller but still shorter than him. She had a light touch of makeup on her, the only thing that stood out was her dark red lipstick. Her hair bounced on her shoulders in small playful curls and her scent filled the air causing Jay's cheeks to redden. He stood up as he saw her make her way out but his legs became weak. Moments like these reminded him how lucky of a man he was, this woman can go from wearing a raggy T-shirt with jeans and boots, to a nicely fitted dress and still look beautiful in both attires.

"You ready?" She asked as she looked at herself one more time in the mirror to make sure everything looked good.

Jay chocked a little before he could actually form a proper sentence. "Y-yeah, I've been ready for awhile. You take a long time you know?"

"I'm sorry, but it takes time to clean up."

"You do clean up well if I must say," he said as he hooked his finger calling her to come closer to him.

"The same goes to you detective Halstead. It's nice to see you in a suit again." she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her into him by her waist and held her for a quick moment.

"Promise me you'll be safe this time. If anything goes wrong you tell me first before you go off acting like superwoman." He never liked to tell her what to do on the job but after last time he just wanted her to be safe and sound.

"Was I really superwoman?" she asked surprised at his analogy.

"Erin…"

"I promise Jay, no stupid stunts. Promise me you'll have my back?"

"Always."

He gave her a light kiss right before Antonio interrupted them saying that the team was heading out. Jay looked over at Erin who returned the reassuring look back. He smiled and walked out of the locker room while Erin followed behind.

The team met up in the garage as they huddled around for Voight to give his normal speech before they left.

"This mission is pretty basic and procedural. Of course, if anything goes wrong or if anyone of you senses something wrong make sure you inform the rest of us so you have back up before you go in and get yourself hurt." He said, his gaze never leaving Erin's as he was indicating this to her.

"You guys are one hell of a team and we don't know how strong this group is, but one thing is for sure, just make sure everyone that everyone remains safe."

As he said that they all dispersed into their cars and headed towards the scene.

The ride to the club was pretty quiet as both of the partners didn't have anything to say to each other. The only interaction that occurred was when Jay had his hand on the gear and Erin put hers on top of his causing him to glance over to her and give her a sly smile. He pulled over across the street of the club as he found a parking spot.

"You ready?" he asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be." she replied.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone got out of their cars as they were told and headed towards the club. Erin was walking next to Jay and as they neared to the club he lifted his hand towards her lower waist and slightly brought her closer to him. As Erin took a step into the club she breathed in the smoke filled air and was reminded of the last time they went undercover.

Flashback

 _It was only Jay and Erin. The two just became partners and hadn't fallen in love as yet. They had entered this two story club and walked in as a couple. No one could tell they were cops and they minded their own business._

 _All of a sudden the lights went out and both Jay and Erin thought it was part of some act that was going on in the club until they heard a scream which was quickly muffled by a hand. With the lights being closed they didn't know what was happening in their surroundings. Jay quickly searched for Erin's hand and when he found it relief radiated through his body._

 _"Jay, what's going on?" she whispered into his ear._

 _She tried to listen in her ear piece to see if Voight knew anything about it but it was blocked and she couldn't hear a thing, neither could Jay._

 _He grabbed her in closer so he could whisper into her ear. "I don't know, but we have to remain normal before they figure out who we are."_

 _"What if more people get hurt?" she asked_

 _"Voight will figure something out."_

 _As soon as he said that a few more screams were heard and suddenly Jay couldn't feel Erin's hand in his anymore._

 _"Erin?" he called out in a low tone_

 _He became frantic, he couldn't hear her, or feel her anywhere around him._

 _"Erin?" he said a bit louder._

 _"She's gone. We know who you are detective, and now that we have one of yours we are going to get what we want. If you need us you can call us anytime." A deep voice said as the man handed a card to Jay who immediately grabbed it._

 _"Who are you?" he asked but got no response._

 _The lights came back on and everyone looked around. They were all scared but Jay was angry. He needed his partner back. He ran out of the building and was met with Voight and the rest of the team. Erin was kidnapped by the men who were associated with the club. They wanted to trade her in for one of their guys who was in jail. Every hour that CPD would not give up the group's guy she was assaulted in some way. Beaten, kicked, raped, and whipped. After a day they finally got her but she suffered through months of PTSD. Jay was with her every night yet she couldn't sleep, when she tried she woke up screaming from a nightmare. It took her a long while to adjust back to her normal life but during that time she and Jay grew closer together._

Erin quickly got the thought out of her mind as she felt Jay pull on her to walk more into the club.

They walked in made their way over to the bar as Erin scanned the place, all she saw were people dancing and grinding on one another.

"Halstead? Erin? You there?" they heard Voight say in their ear piece.

Jay replied with a subtle yes.

Erin turned over to face the bartender, "Can I get a vodka tonic?"

"You're drinking tonight?"

"We got to fit the part Jay, plus I'm only having one drink it wont hurt me." she replied as the bartender brought her a drink

"Thanks" she said.

Jay let her have her drink without putting up a fight because she was somewhat right. They couldn't come to a bar without having a drink, it was too suspicious. But he didn't want one tonight, he had to make sure nothing happens like the last time.

"Er"

"Hmm"

"Isn't that Jerry?"

Erin turned over to see where he was looking and her eyes met with the familiar face. The one she saw Voight put up a picture of on the board. She nodded to Jay as she got up off her seat to head his way.

"Where are you going? Let me do this." Jay said as he held her arm before she could move any further.

"Jay, a guy following another guy is going to bring attention. It may surprise you but before I met you I used to hang around at these places, I know how to get information out of a man." she said pulling her arm out of his hand.

"Erin. Let me do this please." he begged, he was scared. It was dumb of him because he knew she could handle himself but he was filled with paranoia.

"Quit babying me alright? I'm fine, I got this." With that said Erin stormed out of his sight towards the other bar where Jerry was sitting at.

She sat a few seats down from him, her finger circled the top of her glass as she looked all over the place, glancing in his direction a few times until she caught his attention. He smiled at her and moved down to the seat next to hers.

"What's a pretty girl like you sitting at bar drinking alone?"

"What's a guy like you sitting at bar trying to fit in?" she retaliated.

"Feisty." He said with a smirk.

It disgusted her but she had to hide the fact that she knew who he really was.

"How about you join me in that room tonight and I can show you how to really spend a Friday night." He said pointing to the poker room where Ruzek, Atwater, and Antonio were.

"I think I'm just fine over here but thanks for the offer."

"Is a girl seriously turning me down? Wow, that's a first."

"Well there's always a first for everything."

"Hmm you're right. Here's my number in case you ever want me to join you at the next club you're at. I live in Chicago so I won't be hard to find." He said as he scribbled down his number onto a napkin and slid it towards Erin. She lifted it up to see his name and number written down.

"Jerry, sorry but I doubt I'll need this." she said

"Trust me, you will." with that said he got up and saluted her goodbye as he headed over to the room. Erin walked back to Jay who was eyeing them the entire time he sat next to her.

"What'd he give you?"

"His name and number. He's clearly not smart enough since he gave me his actual name. Anyways, I'm not going to use his number anyways, he seems like a dick. I don't want to get involved with that."

"Plus the fact that you already have a boyfriend."

"Really? Who?"

Jay rolled his eyes at Erin as she smiled at him. She leaned down and gave a light kiss on his cheek before she reached out to sit onto the chair. They waited a few minutes for Voight's signal before heading into the poker room.

She entered the room through the curtain first with Jay following behind as she instantly locked eyes with one of the men.

"Who's this chick?" he said, catching Jerry's attention and he looked up to see Erin's face and smiled.

"This is my girl, I knew she'd come sooner or later…" he paused as he saw Jay standing behind her.

"Who's this guy? I thought you said you were alone tonight?" he asked Erin.

"I never said I was alone, you just assumed I was." she replied.

As she said that Atwater, Ruzek, and Antonio entered the room with some drinks laughing with the other men they were with. Ruzek glanced over at Jay who gave them a slight signal saying that they were okay. They all sat down as the men played poker and Erin watched.

It was about 30 minutes into the game when Jerry sat back and cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"In this room there 3 women, 8 guys, and 5 cops…" As he said that the team became shocked to know that he knew who they were. "Now I didn't expect it to happen like this but seriously, you guys really underestimated me thinking I didn't know y'all were cops." He laughed and lifted his fingers, as he did a group of men with guns came in and started shooting.

Before they could start shooting the guys from CPD took out their guns and started shooting back. Erin was unarmed so she sat low behind Jay who was protecting her as he fired his gun. The team shot every man who was firing their guns without getting hurt and as no more bullets were fired they quickly got up and handcuffed the guys who were sitting there. Some were injured. Jay handcuffed Jerry before he could escape. As they started to move out of the room Erin was met with a woman who bumped into her and spilled her drink onto Erin's dress.

"Oh my god I'm sooooo sorry" the woman said and clearly Erin knew she completely drunk as she looked down at her freshly wet dress. She knew that voice, that distinctive voice.

"Bunny?" She said as the woman looked up at her.

That feeling, that indescribable feeling came back to Erin. She knew this day wasn't like any other and she felt as if she was going to throw up.

Bunny looked up at Erin and started laughing before she became silent. Erin looked around to see all the men from the team staring at them as it became really awkward.

"You… You look just like my daughter, wow" she said as she touched Erin's face.

Erin knew she shouldn't be offended by the fact that she didn't know it was her since she was drunk but she still was. She swatted Bunny's hand off her face and stormed out of the club as Jay and the rest of the team followed with the suspects.

Erin calmed down as she went outside and stood on the street crossing her arms to keep her from shivering as she saw the men put the suspects into the police cars. Jay noticed her and walked towards her taking his jacket off of him to put it on her.

"Here" he said as he covered her with his jacket. She felt a little bit of warmth from it but the draft was unbearable.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine. I… I just didn't know what to expect. I definitely wasn't expecting to see her tonight." she said as a few tears started to fall.

Jay instantly saw her trying to hide them away and he turned her towards him and used his thumb to wipe them off of her cheeks.

"Listen to me, she is a whole other person. She belongs to a different part of your life. You have moved on, created something better for yourself and that's what matters. I know you didn't expect to see her or expect her reaction but she was drunk Erin. She knew who you were. Don't let this get to you. Don't spiral down again." He said as he grabbed her in and pulled her into a hug.

She nodded at his words as a few more tears started to fall. They walked towards the car as everyone started to leave the scene. The car ride was once again silent but this time it was a different silence. Jay knew Erin was hurting after seeing her mom, and he wish he could help him he just didn't know how to. Every time something like this happened Erin would just shut him out for days, weeks, or even months. He wouldn't let that happen again.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked as he neared the apartment.

"Not really" she said as she looked out of the window trying to ignore his eyes because she knew she'd start crying again.

"Erin, you have to let me in. Let me help you."

"I told you I'm fine! I just don't want to talk about it. Like you said I should put it behind but talking about it isn't going to help Jay." she said sternly.

He left it at that as he parked on the side of the street.

"Can you go to your apartment tonight?" she asked as she started to open the door.

"What?"

"I need… I want to be alone for a while. Tonight was just a lot to handle and I need a bit of space."

"There you go! Shutting me out once again like I asked you not to." He said as he slammed his hand against the wheel.

"I'm not shutting you out! I just want to be alone!"

"Um? That's what shutting out is Erin. Whatever, if you don't want me or need me I'm not going to try because that's all I've been doing. Just go to your apartment I'll see you tomorrow at the district." He said turning his head away from hers. Neither of them said a word and Erin slowly closed the door hoping he would apologize for getting angry at her.

He didn't and she knew that he was right not too. She was closing herself in again but she couldn't help it. All she wanted to do was just sleep and forget about what happened.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I'm so surprised at the amount of follows and reviews I got so quickly. I don't exactly know where I am going with this fic but I'm going to go with whatever ideas I get. Also, sorry if there are any grammatical errors I don't check over sometimes. Enjoy the chapter :-)**

* * *

Erin walked into her apartment and closed the door letting out an exhausted sigh. It was a really long day and she didn't mean to snap at Jay, she thought he knew she didn't mean it but with his reaction it seemed to be otherwise. She took off her coat and went to put her keys down on the counter when she saw the bottles with the side of her eye. Alcohol. Her go to when a situation like this occurs. She was going to walk over when she stopped herself.

"It's ridiculous," she thought to herself. The last time she let drinking consume her she lost everyone. She didn't want to take another chance with that, she didn't want to put Jay through that. She put the bottle of Captain Morgan back into the cupboard and went to her room.

She figured a hot shower would get her mind off of everything but she was so exhausted she didn't have the energy for that. She sluggishly got up off her bed to change her clothes, she looked up in the mirror to see her reflection. It was flushed, with all the emotions that went through her today she couldn't take another minute awake. She headed over to the bed and hoped that tomorrow would be a lot better.

* * *

Jay woke up with the loud buzzing that he heard from his phone. Groggily he lifted his head off his pillow as he knew it was time to get up for work. 4:30 AM.

It wasn't just another day at work. He had to face Erin today after everything that happened last night. He knew he shouldn't have gone off on her like that but he was exhausted too.

He got ready and walked out into his kitchen to make a cup of coffee, he opened the door to his fridge when his eyes met the picture he had hanging on it with a magnet. It was from the first time Erin and Jay went out with the rest of the team. It was all of them but for some serendipitous reason the camera only focused on the two of them.

He smiled at the picture as he ran his thumb over it and went on with making his breakfast. He made his normal cup of coffee when he saw his phone light up with a message from Voight asking him where he was. 5:48 pm.

"Shit" he thought to himself. He was late. He darted out of his apartment and headed towards the precinct.

* * *

Coincidentally both Jay and Erin entered the precinct at the same time. Greeting each other a "Good Morning" they walked in and waved to Platt who was too occupied with her work to have a little chat with them. As Erin put her palm in the palm scanner she glanced over at Jay who was staring at the palm reader.

"Jay…"

"I want to talk about last night, but when we find the right time. Lets just do whatever work Voight needs us to do right now. I'm good if your good." he said.

She just stared at him and nodded as she was good too. She felt a wave of relief as the thought of him wanting to talk about last night went through her mind. He cared.

She walked up the stairs while Jay put his palm in the palm reader and then followed her up the stairs to meet everyone else who was already in the bullpen.

"Morning" Erin said to all the men standing in front of her.

"Hey kid, come on in," Voight said as he gestured her towards his office. She followed him and took a seat.

"You okay? After everything that happened last night?"

"I'm-"

"Fine I know. That's what you always say."

"Because I am. Last night I wasn't okay but I got the time I needed alone and it helped me, I am seriously fine Voight. You don't have to worry about me."

"Alone? Jay wasn't with you?"

"No. Typical me shut him out and I stormed into my apartment as he left. Can't blame the guy, he always puts up with me, he has to break once in a while too."

"Umm.. If you don't mind I actually want to talk to him before we get started with the case if that's okay?" she asked.

"Go for it kid. Remember, if you need me to kick his ass just signal me and I'll jump him." He said with a smile.

With that Erin got up giving out a little laugh and left his office. She walked over to Jay who was currently talking to Olinksy, as she came closer the smile on his face faded and he turned his attention towards her.

"Hey, do you mind if we talk?" she asked.

"Not at all." he said as they both got up and headed towards the locker room.

"What's up?" he asked as they reached into the locker room while Erin checked the stalls to make sure no one but them were there.

"I want to apologize for last night. You were right about me shutting out people when I get angry and I really did not want too but I… I don't know, something just came over me and I found it easier for me to keep you away rather to let you in. But Jay, you don't deserve that. I am going to try and try to let you in. I'm sorry, but I just need one favor."

"What is it?"

"Just give me time with the letting in. You are more than welcome to come back to our apartment but give me time to let you in, to share my past with you, and to allow you to know the full me. This, this is all knew to me but I'm willing to try it with you."

"Our apartment?" Jay said with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Seriously? Out of everything I said all you got out of it was 'our apartment'? Of course it is. You practically moved in with me months ago."

"I know but this just makes it more official. Look I have to apologize too."

"For what? You did nothing Jay."

"I should've fought more than just let you leave without me. I just got mad and was exhausted from everything as well."

"I know… But now that we're good we still have that dinner date tonight. 7 PM, at _our_ apartment." She said as she winked and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'll be there…. With the take out of course." he said as Erin punched him in the shoulder and walked out of the locker room back to the bullpen to hear what Voight had to say about the case.

They sat at their desk as Voight told them the case. It was a bust, the same old. Jay was partnered with Erin as usual and the two headed out to the scene.

Erin entered the drivers seat as Jay did in the passengers seat. She turned on the car and started to drive towards the house that they had to bust into.

"Are you ever going to let me drive?"

"Probably not, but what brought up the question?"

"I don't know, the other night when I was out with the boys they brought up how you're always driving and it would be fun to drive once in a while."

"Hmmm, you remember when Nadia called you a house husband?"

Jay nodded as they both let out a little laugh but then it resided to silence.

"I'll think about it. Maybe one day when you make it onto my good side." she said as she looked over to him giving him a 'It's never going to happen' smile.

Erin slowed down as she parked across the house and the two of them crossed the street and made it up the stairs to the door of the house.

Jay knocked but got no response.

"CHICAGO PD" he yelled as he busted down the door.

Jay and Erin both held out their gun as they walked into the house and went opposite directions. Jay went into the kitchen to find everything was clear. "Clear in here" he said.

Erin started climbing the stairs until she reached the top and was met with a door that was slightly opened. Slowly she peered through the crack and saw nothing so she opened the door more but suddenly felt a force hit her on her right side. There was a guy who swung a bat at her side causing her to get off balance but she was still able to fight him off. They made their way out of the room fighting as he knocked her gun out of her hands.

Suddenly out of nowhere he got some extra force and pushed Erin down the flight of stairs. All Jay heard was a loud thump and quickly rushed toward Erin who was laying on the ground struggling to get up.

"Erin! Stay down" he demanded as he saw the figure at the top of the stairs and started to shoot at him. He missed in the first few shots but manage to shoot the guy causing him to fall to the floor. Before Jay could attend Erin he ran up and handcuffed the guy as Ruzek came in to get him.

He handed the guy over to Ruzek and ran to Erin. There was no external bleeding or any breaks which he was relieved for but she was still weak in getting up.

"Erin don't try to move you might've broken something." he told her

"Jay. I think I'm good, I just have a slight headache but nothing to worry about." she said as she started to slowly get up. Jay helped her up as she found her balance.

The rest of the team searched the house to see if they could find any other evidence but it came out negative as Jay walked Erin out of the house towards the car.

"You should get checked out" He told Erin as they made their way towards Voight.

"He's right, you could be hurt but not know kid" Voight said.

"Guys, I think I'd know if I damaged something. I'm good, it wasn't that far of a fall. Trust me." She pleaded as she took a bottle of water from Voight.

"Okay, but I think you should take the rest of the day off, head home and rest up."

"Voight, I told you"

"You can tell me your fine till your face turns blue, I'm not going to buy it. It's either you rest up today or you go get checked up at the hospital."

"Fine, I'll go home."

"Halstead, go with her and makes sure she takes the rest she needs."

Erin looked over at Jay as he nodded to Voight's demand. The both of them started to walk towards the car.

"Lucky you, you get time off as well, AND you get to take care of me. Guess you'll get dinner early tonight." she joked around as they entered the car.

"Trust me, you're a handful so I won't be the one relaxing. By the way what cuisine am I expecting tonight for dinner?"

"It's a surprise."

Jay looked over at Erin who had the straightest face as she said that. He didn't know what to expect and it scared him a bit, hoping she'd make him his favorite meal, if she knew what it was.

They reached the apartment at 6 PM and both of them were starving as they put their stuff down and entered the room.

"I'm going to go for a quick shower before I start dinner" Erin said.

"Okay"

She entered the bathroom and took off her clothes and shoes as her feet touched the cold floor and her body exposed to the cool air. She had goose bumps on her arms and legs. She retied her hair into a bun and hopped into the shower. Turning it on to a not so burning hot she took as fast as a shower as she can so that Jay didn't have to wait too long dinner.

She started soaping herself as she ran her hand over her stomach and felt a little pain. It felt like a bruise so she let it slide as the pain ended fairly quick. After almost 10 minutes she exited the bathroom wearing only one of Jay's shirt to see that Jay left the bedroom. He was sitting on the couch with an opened beer in one hand and the remote in the other.

"Didn't you say you weren't going to be the one relaxing in the car earlier?" she joked as she made her way behind the counter and went onto her phone to pull up the recipe to Jay's favorite dish. Thai curry chicken. Of course she knew what it was but she hadn't cooked in a while and she wanted to surprise him so she asked his mom to send her the recipe. She took out the ingredients from the cupboard and the already seasoned chicken out from the fridge. Jay sat on the couch watching whatever hockey game was on as she made the dinner.

Halfway through cooking Erin started singing quietly to keep herself entertained but Jay could hear her little hum from the couch.

Silently he got up and made his way over to her as she wasn't paying attention. Caught off guard she jumped a little bit as she felt his arms wrap around her lower waist.

"Thai curry! That's my favorite" He said excitingly.

"I know silly that's why I decided to make it," she said as she held out the spoon for him to try the curry.

"You told me when we first met what your favorite dish was but I didn't know the recipe so I just messaged your mom to ask her."

"You messaged my mom?"

"Yeah is there anything wrong with that?"

"No, it's cute actually."

She smiled as he gave her a thumbs up to the curry and nuzzled his face into her neck making her laugh a bit. He tightened his grip around her waist causing the pain she felt earlier to come back but this time it was in full force.

"Jay…" she said and he quickly looked at her face which was completely flushed. He let go of his grip and held her by her shoulders so he could get a better look at her body.

"Ah… Ow!" she let out a gasp and dropped her hand onto her stomach as her legs became weak and she lost her balance. Before she knew it her vision became blurry and Jay's yelling became softer and softer as everything around her became black.

"Erin!"


	4. Chapter 4

_"Erin!"_ Jay yelled as he caught a falling Erin into his arms and felt her body go limp.

His eyes widened at the sight and he didn't know what to do, he laid her gently on the floor as he checked her pulse which was there but low, he then checked her breathing. He couldn't feel much coming out of her and knew that he had to get her over to the hospital as quickly as he could. Without calling anyone he picked her up and made it out of the apartment double checking that everything was okay.

He drove as fast as he could and every five minutes he would check Erin's pulse to make sure it was still there. It got weaker and weaker as the time increased causing him to drive faster.

"She's going to be fine," he whispered to himself. "She's going to be fine."

Approaching the ER he quickly swerved by the entrance and slammed on the breaks as he got out of the car and rushed over to the passenger side.

"Can somebody help please?" He yelled out to anyone who was free. No one heard him at first causing him to panic as he tried to carry the lifeless body.

"Can somebody please help me?" He yelled again as he entered the doors of the ER and two nurses ran over to him and Erin.

"Sir what happened?" one of the nurses asked as they took her from him and laid her down on a gurney.

"My-my, my girlfriend, she was fine. She was okay" he said, running his hands on the back of his head and stumbling on his words.

"Sir, I need you to tell me what happened."

"I don't know! One minute we were standing together and the next minute she yelled out my name and held her hand to her stomach and went unconscious." He said in a harsh tone as he was annoyed by the woman.

"Is she okay?" he asked holding onto Erin's hand as one of the nurses called over an intern to work on Erin.

"What's your name?" The intern asked.

"Um, Jay Halstead. Is-is she going to be okay?" he asked again.

"Jay, I need you to let go of her hand so I can check her out to see what's wrong with her if you don't mind." she asked.

Jay nodded, after a little bit of resistance and the intern asking him to move away again he let go of Erin's hand and stepped out of the way so she could see what's wrong with Erin.

"Page for a CT and let the OR know we're coming up in a bit." She yelled as she finished scanning Erin.

"I narrowed it down to Erin having an internal problem in her abdomen, I'm not sure as yet but with the CT to clarify what exactly is wrong we will be able to treat her properly." The intern told Jay.

Everything she said sounded gibberish to Jay and all he did was nod as he was in a delirious state of mind and pretended to understand what she was saying. He read her name tag a few times until he saw that it read "Megan".

"Megan, is she going to be okay?" he asked

"I can't promise anything as yet but if you don't mind going to the waiting area I'll get back to you as soon as I find out more information."

Jay nodded and she held his hand as she guided him to the waiting area.

He looked around to see so many unfamiliar faces sitting there, waiting, just waiting to get some answers from someone. His emotions were all over the place, he was exhausted after the long day and even after serving in Iraq for the war and seeing people drop dead right in front of him, seeing Erin, the love of his life, lose the life in her and fall into his arms made him want to throw things, cry, and run away.

He couldn't sit in one of the seats, it would make this night more official.

He leaned against the wall and sat on the floor bringing his knees to his chest and his face in his palms.

"This can't be happening, she's going to be fine." he whispered again to himself.

After 30 minutes of sitting on the floor his eyes were blood shot red from the lack of sleep and the holding back of tears. He didn't want to break down in front of everyone, it wasn't in his nature. He was always the tough one. When his dad died he had to take care of his sister and mom, he couldn't be the one breaking down. When his partner Tom got shot right in front of him he couldn't stop and mourn over his loss. He had to keep moving.

"Jay Halstead," he heard a woman call out in the waiting area. Quickly he jumped to his feet and signaled to the woman where he was. She walked over to him bearing some news.

"We just finished Erin's CT and her scans came back showing that Erin has a splenic bleed. We need to operate on her and do a splenectomy." she stated.

"A splenic bleed? What does that mean?" he asked

"It means that something Erin did caused her to rupture her spleen, she didn't feel any affects at first but with the amount of internal bleeding that occurred it caused her to pass out." she continued.

"Do you know how this may have happened?" she asked him.

"Um… Earlier today, uh, we're cops, and we went out on a bust. She was fighting off a guy and fell down a flight of stairs. She said it was nothing but a headache and that she was fine. She told me she was fine!" He said as his voice became shaky and he began to panic again at the thought of Erin not being fine.

"Mr. Halstead I need you to calm down. We're sending her into the OR right now and we'll come out again for you when we're done with her." She said as she reassured her and he sat back down on the ground.

That was all he needed, those words that came out of the woman's mouth made everything more real. He couldn't hold it back any more, he held his face in his hands as he felt warm water on them. At first he let out a few tears which then turned into a sob as he realized that everything that made him happy, her laugh, her smile, the way she made him coffee, the way she wore his shirts to sleep may be gone if nothing goes right. He just couldn't hold it back anymore.

* * *

Jay was awaken when he felt a tapping on his shoulder. Groggily he got up and felt that his body was stiff from laying on the ground for so long. Once he gathered his surroundings he quickly got up to see a different woman standing in front of him. She wasn't Megan, she was a tall lean woman, blonde hair, wearing navy blue scrubs and a semi smile on his face.

"Mr. Halstead, Erin's surgery went smoothly as hoped for…"

Before she could continue Jay grabbed her in his arms and squeezed her tight as he finally heard good news in the past 12 hours.

"Can I see her?" he asked.

"We just finished her surgery so she's currently in post-op. In a short while she'll be moved to a normal room and you should be able to see her. Although with all the anesthesia she is under she may be a little woozy and groggy as she wakes up." she said

"Typical Erin" Jay laughed as he tried to lighten the mood, causing the surgeon to laugh too.

"Is there anyone else you could call to maybe bring an extra pair of clothes or get you something from home?" she asked.

"Shoot" he thought to himself, with everything going on he forgot to call the team. He forgot to call Voight.

"Yeah I'll get on that now" He told her and the surgeon left him as Jay went to call Voight.

After making a few phone calls to Voight and the other team members Jay was finally able to see Erin in her room. He slowly and quietly walked inside as he tried not to wake Erin up and saw a nurse checking on her vitals. The nurse smiled at him as he made his way to the seat next to Erin's bed. He actually really wanted her to wake up, the last thing he remembers of Erin before the incident was a smile on her face as she was cooking his favorite meal, he wanted to see that smile again. After making sure everything was alright the nurse walked out of the room leaving the two of them alone. Erin was still unconscious due to the anesthesia.

Softly he picked up Erin's hand, held it with his hand, and brought it up to his lips to give a gentle kiss on it. God he missed her warm body, her soft skin, and the smell of her. Just having her back to him made him feel so much better.

"You really scared me back at the apartment you know," he began to talk every though he knew she couldn't hear him, "I was worried, heck I was terrified. It's weird because you'd think I'd be used to that. Seeing people lose their life right in front of me since I was in a war and my job consists of people losing their lives almost daily. But seeing you, fall into my arms, it was like I lost my life Erin. Everything around me just became a blur and you were my focus. God, I wouldn't know what I would do if you left me. Not being able to see your smile in the morning or watch you tackle down the bad guys with your badass muscles. I'm glad we got another chance, there is still so much I want to do with you Erin. I want to make love with you every night, get married and watch you walk down the aisle, have a house with kids running all over. We're going to have two girls who are going to be just like you, and maybe if you're up for it two boys as well so that the estrogen doesn't take over. I just, I love you Erin."

He finally said it, after being together with her for so long those three words slipped out of his mouth, each with so much of meaning behind it.

He sighed as he looked over at Erin who still had her eyes closed, what he didn't know was that she heard almost the entire thing. She gained consciousness mid way through his speech of love for her but didn't want to ruin the moment.

"I love you too" she said, her voice raspier than ever making it harder to hear but he still heard it perfectly come out of her mouth.

His gaze went from her hand to her eyes in an instant and a smile grew on both of their faces. Without saying a word he quickly got up, grabbed her face with two hands and kissed her for as long as he could. He didn't want to hurt her anymore than she was already hurt so he let go of her so she can get some air.

"How are you feeling? Do you want some water?"

"I feel like there are 20 pounds of bricks on me and yes please" she said as she let out a little laugh causing her to feel more pain.

"Clearly the anesthesia is wearing off…" he said handing her a cup of ice cold water with a straw in it.

"Yeah but I'll fight through it." She said putting her cup down after taking a refreshing sip.

"How long was I out?"

"About 8 hours"

"It feels like a lifetime" she said stretching her body a bit but not too much to strain herself.

"Do you know when I can go home?" she asked already feeling uncomfortable in the hospital bed.

"Erin, you just got out of surgery, let your body take it's time to heal." he said

"He's right," a soft voice heard by the door said causing Erin and Jay to turn their attention to the nurse who was in the room earlier to check on her vitals.

"It's good to see you awake Erin, are you feeling any pain or discomfort?"

"Pain? Hell yes. I'm just sore, that's all." she replied

The nurse gave a reassuring smile, "That's normal since your body is recuperating from the surgery, you need a lot of bed rest before your body is fully healed."

With that said Erin rolled her eyes and let out a sigh as she focused her gaze onto Jay who was grinning happily.

"What're you smiling about? You know you have to take care of me now, I'm on bed rest." She said teasing him.

"More time to spend with my sexy girlfriend? It's a treat for me!" He said as he let out a little laugh.

"I'm just so happy you're okay Erin, and I'll be there to take care of you till you're back on your feet." He reassured her.

She mouthed a 'Thank you' as he took her hand and gave a little kiss on it.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: So this chapter is a lot longer than others, hope y'all enjoy it and if you have any ideas just let me know. :)**

* * *

Erin woke up to a dimmed room and looked out the window to see that it was dark outside. She tried to move when she felt a weight on her left hand, as her gaze moved to see what was causing that feeling she saw that Jay fell asleep on her hand while holding it for so long. Poor guy she thought, he hadn't slept properly for the past two days and has been such a peach to her the entire time. While she had her gaze on him she saw at the corner of her eye a figure entering through the door of her room.

Once she got a better view of the figure she saw that it was Voight.

"Hey kid," he said a bit too loudly.

"Shh…" She hushed him as she slowly moved her hand from under Jay's head causing him to stir a bit but not wake him up. When she lifted her hand it was numb from not getting enough blood flow and caused her to wince at the discomfort of it.

"What's wrong?" Voight asked in a whispered tone with a panicked look.

"Nothing, he was just on my hand for a bit too long and it fell asleep." She said reassuring him while she squeezed her hand for the indescribable feeling to disappear.

"I'm going to wake him up so he can go back to his apartment, he's done enough for you over here." Voight said as he was about to move towards Jay before Erin stopped him.

"Voight, leave him alone. He hasn't slept since everything happened and he just needed a little rest, it's fine, I'm okay." She said.

He didn't buy it but he knew that she didn't have enough energy to argue with him so he left Jay to sleep on the side of Erin's bed.

"How are you doing? Sorry I didn't come in sooner." He told her with a guilty look on his face.

"I'm doing okay, just a bit sore from the surgery and extremely tired and I understand Voight, you didn't miss much anyways, it's better you see me now than before. I was so drugged up it was terrible," she said letting out a little chuckle.

Voight chuckled back. "How long are you here for?" he asked.

"The doctor wanted to keep me for observation for another 24 hours but then I'm good to go home and get back to work!" She said a bit too happily.

"Work?" He asked with a face of confusion. "Erin, you are not stepping back into intelligence until you are fully healed and stable and I think that'd take about 3 weeks so I better not see you outside of your apartment until then you hear?"

She rolled her eyes before she nodded. It pained her and he knew that but he knew that if she didn't heal properly there would be more consequences.

He then felt his phone vibrate. He signaled to Erin that he has to take this and walked out of the room for a few minutes. He came back in and told her that he had to leave again because Olinsky got a lead on their current case.

"Don't worry about me, I'm good, but you better update me with how the case goes." She told him

"You got it" with that said Voight walked out of the room and Erin went back to see Jay still sleeping peacefully. Her eyes grew heavy and a few minutes later she went off to sleep as well.

* * *

The next 24 hours went by really fast to Erin's surprise and she was so happy to get the okay from her doctors to go home. She prescribed Erin her medicine that she had to take three times a day which sucked but anything was better than being in this room.

Jay entered the room as he went out to fill Erin's discharge papers and he saw Erin sitting on the side of her bed all ready to head out.

"Even after surgery and three days of sitting in bed you still look beautiful as ever," he told her as he grabbed her bag and helped her stand up.

Weakly she got up and held onto Jay's shoulder as he held onto her side careful not to hurt her.

"You always know how to flatter me, but you my friend really do need a shower" she said as she scrunched up her nose at the terrible stench that came off of Jay. He rolled his eyes at her typical response and helped her out of the hospital and towards the car.

As they were leaving the hospital they were met with Bunny who was in the waiting area because on of her 'clients' overdosed and was about to die. Erin didn't notice her but Bunny noticed Erin and jumped off her seat and almost sprinted towards them before they could leave.

"Erin" she heard a familiar voice call her and turned around slowly to see Bunny standing in front of her.

"Are you? Are you okay? Is everything fine?" Bunny asked the two of them.

"Everything's fine Bunny. I don't need any self pity from you." Erin said with a harsh tone.

"Erin I-" she was about to talk before Jay cut her off.

"We gotta go Bunny. Take care of yourself," He said as he and Erin turned around and headed towards the car.

Once fastening her in he closed the door and walked over to the drivers side.

"Are you okay? After running into Bunny and everything?" He asked

"I'm good, she has her own life to worry about I don't need to get involved" She replied. There was an awkward silence so she quickly said something to get the good mood back.

"I hope you haven't gotten used to actually driving because once I'm all healed and whatever you are going back to sit in the passengers seat." She told, more like explained to him.

"We still have a while before you're fully healed so I'm going to enjoy my time." He said and smiled back at her.

Erin smiled at him and stared as he turned the car on and headed out towards their apartment.

"What?" he asked as he felt her gaze upon him.

"I never thanked you"

"For what?"

"For being by my side the entire time. You never left me unless you were forced to leave and you brought me everything I needed. You made sure I was okay and helped me get better. Most importantly I want to thank you for telling me how you felt about me."

As she said her last thank you it got Jay to dart his eyes at her with a look of confusion on his face.

"That night when I was still under the anesthesia you started talking and telling me how you felt about me and how I make up your world. I love that, and I love you Jay. Everything you feel about me is the same exact way I feel about you and I know I don't show it too often but I really do appreciate everything you do for me."

He started to slow down as he reached a red light and before it could turn green he leaned over to her side and kissed her. It was perfect, that moment, that kiss, the feeling. Until it was ruined by a honking car behind him. She laughed and he continued to drive until they reached the apartment.

* * *

As they entered the apartment they were met with the mess that was still there from the night Erin had her incident.

"Shit" Jay murmured under his breath. He forgot to come back and clean it all up before she got back home. He felt so dumb, just as she told him how much he had done for her he forgot to do an important thing.

Erin saw the mess and all the memories came flooding back causing her to slowly walk around it and begin to clean it up. She was quiet and Jay knew that something was up.

"I'm so sorry I forgot to clean it up, let me do this. You go rest you're not supposed to be doing these things." He told her as he took the pot from her hand telling her to go sit down. She didn't want to leave him with the burden of cleaning everything up but if she had to continue cleaning she would've cried and that was worse than him cleaning up her mess. She listened to him and sat down on the couch, everything she felt when she saw the mess, anger, sadness, confusion, fear, all disappeared as she turned on the TV and everything went back to normal.

She glanced over by the wall and saw Jay's duffle bag that he brings every week with his stuff from his old apartment and then looked at Jay.

"Jay…" she called out.

"Yeah babe?" he replied as he took a wet cloth and ran it over the counter.

"I just realized that you haven't officially moved into the apartment." He looked over to her and saw that she was staring at the duffle bag.

"You still have your apartment, with your things, this technically isn't _our_ as yet." She continued on as he finished cleaning up and moved over to the couch to sit next to her.

"Hmm you're right, how about this. Next weekend when you've healed a bit we can go over to my apartment, clean it out and move my things here. I'll give it up and we'll officially have one apartment all to ourselves. Is that okay?"

"That's perfect."

* * *

Days had gone by and with the medication that Erin had to take she began to feel a lot better than before. Jay finally felt that she was strong enough to stay on her own and went back to work as he wasn't needed at home.

Being home was something that Erin was not good at. She got bored within the first few days of her 'healing leave' and wanted to do something productive. She went over to the kitchen and realized that Jay never got his favorite dish that she promised.

She went on her phone to find the messages she got from his mom with the recipe and got all the ingredients and began cooking dinner to surprise him.

 **At the district**

The team had just gotten back from a bust where they caught a man who had assaulted 5 women before he could go onto his next target. It was an easy bust but it took a lot of energy out of the team and when they got back they were exhausted.

Jay flopped onto his chair and looked up to see his partner's desk empty. He grabbed his phone and was surprised to see that he got no missed calls or messages from Erin so he decided to give her a call. It went to voice mail after a few rings causing a wave of panic to go over him but it quickly faded when Voight called him into his office.

"Yeah sag?" He asked as he closed the door after entering his office.

"Um, so I told the team earlier that on Sunday y'all are invited over to my house for a barbecue. I was going to tell Erin but since she's not here and I know you'll be seeing her later you two are invited as well. Just a casual thing, barbecue, some beers, and hang out for the evening." He told him not trying to make this so awkward.

Jay smiled at his offer, "that seems really nice, we'll definitely be over there." He said as he left his office to go back to his desk.

 **At the apartment**

Erin had her music on her phone while she prepared dinner for Jay but when the music turned off her attention went to her phone to see she was getting a call from someone. There was no name on the screen so curiously she picked it up.

"This is Erin" she said into the phone

"Erin, it's me Bunny."

"What do you want?" Erin's tone getting harsher.

"I just wanted to make sure you're alright, when I saw you at the hospital last week you seemed so pale and hurt. Your boyfriend didn't let me talk to you so I figured I'd just call you."

"My boyfriend was doing what I would've done anyways-" she was going to continue when she heard a few beeps on the phone. She pulled the phone from her ear and saw that Jay tried to call her but the buzzing stopped.

"Look I'm really busy right now so I can't talk. If you wanted to know how I was feeling you wouldn't have waited a week to call. Goodbye bunny."

Before Bunny could reply Erin ended the call and was going to call Jay back when she started to smell like something was burning. She turned herself to face the stove where the chicken was cooking and saw that it was bubbling. Her mind focused on making their dinner and completely forgot to call Jay back.

* * *

It was almost 7 and Erin knew Jay would be coming home soon so she lit a few candles on and around the table and set the table for two. When she finished setting it the aroma from the candles filled their apartment and she inhaled it smiling as the thought of him being surprised by her actions went through her head.

She was so caught up in getting dinner ready and setting the place up that she forgot to change her clothes. She looked down to see herself dressed in sweats. Quickly before he came she ran to the bathroom to change her clothes.

After going through her closet and picking out something that was sexy but not too sexy as yet she went into the bathroom and stripped out of her sweats. She washed her face and looked up into the mirror to see a scar running over her stomach where she had her surgery.

She sighed and felt disgusted. How could Jay love someone with a huge scar running down their stomach. Her thoughts were quickly disrupted by a screaming Jay.

"Erin! Erin where are you?!" he yelled out.

Erin stepped out of the bathroom half dressed and bumped into Jay who had a scared look on his face. He grabbed her by her arms and held her out in front of him.

"Are you okay?" he asked with a panicked voice.

"Jay I'm fine! What's going on?"

"I tried calling you earlier but it went straight to voicemail, I figured you were busy but then I tried calling again a few minutes ago and once again straight to voicemail."

"Shoot" she thought to herself, she left her phone on vibrate in the kitchen as she went to go change.

"I'm sorry, Bunny called earlier and by the time I could hang up you ended the call and I got distracted with the food." She said mentally kicking herself for spoiling the surprise. Clearly he didn't see it since he was still so worried.

Erin went back in the bathroom to put on her nice blouse and came out.

"Why are you all so dressed up?" Jay asked as he took of his clothes and sat on the side of the bed.

"Come with me" she told him as she held her hand out for him. She led him out of the room and into the dining room area which had the smell of lavender all over. Jay saw the candles and the flowers and the food waiting for him.

"I never got to make you your favorite dish, and well since I didn't have much to do I figured this is the least I could do." She told him as she saw a smile grow on his face.

"Erin, you don't have to do this. You're supposed to be resting" as he turned to face her.

Before she could speak he cupped her face and pulled it in for a long kiss. It was a needed kiss for the both of them.

"C'mon let's eat before the food gets cold" She broke apart their kiss and headed towards the table.

Jay helped her sit down and pushed in her chair as he went to his side, he opened the pot and saw the steam come out from the Thai Curry. He put 3 spoons of rice and two of the curry and began eating as if he hasn't eaten for the entire day. Erin laughed causing Jay to look up and realize he didn't wait for her to start eating.

"I'm so sorry" he said with a semi full mouth.

Erin laughed again, "It's okay, you're a boy what can I expect. Did you not eat anything today?"

"I did, Ruzek brought some burgers from the shack down the street of the district but Erin." He paused, "It is Thai Curry, I am always hungry for Thai Curry."

"I can tell," she chuckled as she began to eat.

There was silence in the room as both were so engrossed in their dinner. To Erin's surprise the food actually came out better than she thought. She was about to break the silence before Jay started talking.

"So Voight called me in today," he told her.

She looked at him confused.

"He's having a barbecue on Sunday for the unit, and told us we were invited. He was going to tell you but since you weren't there he told me to tell you."

"A barbecue? For the unit?"

"Yeah I guess after what happened to you it must've scared him and he probably just wants us to be more connected."

She nodded.

"Why? Are you not up for it?"

"No I am, I'll be better anyways. We can go after we finish moving in all of your things and officially announce to everyone that we live together." She told him

He took a sip of his water and let out a little "hmm"

"You don't seem to excited about moving in here." she said a bit disappointed as she toyed with her dinner.

"No I definitely am, it just makes it more official and it's a big step you know."

"I do, that's why I'm excited to take it. With everything that's happened these last two weeks its good to have someone here with me. We need that kind of support." She told him, trying to convince him to be more excited about the move.

"It's why you have backup right?" he said with a smirk on his face as she was reminded about their first day working together.

Before Erin could respond her phone started buzzing and she recognized the number, it was Bunny.

"What do you want?" she said with a monotone voice.

"Erin, I just want to talk to you, please." she heard Bunny say in between the sobs.

"Look I'm busy right now, and I don't want you to get back into my life so can you please stop calling? Just stop." She said, her voice gaining some anger in it. Quickly she ended the call and turned her phone to face down.

Letting out an exasperated sigh she ran her hands over her face and slicked back her hair.

"You okay?" Jay asked as he chewed on a forkful of rice.

"She keeps calling me, and wanting to talk to me and I just don't want to. I don't want her back in my life. I am good where I am and I know that bringing her back in is just going to make things complicated all around. She just won't leave me alone."

Jay didn't know how to reply so he just stared at her as he knew she had more to say.

"Does that make me a bad person for not wanting her in my life?" She asked with a slight pout on her face.

"No matter your decision you will not be a bad person. You know what is right for you and if that means not involving Bunny in your life then don't involve her. As long as you're happy and satisfied with everything you're okay." he reassured her.

She reached out to hold one of Jay's hands and he squeezed it a bit making her feel better.

Once they finished dinner Erin got up to take the plates and pots to the sink as Jay went and turned on their vintage radio that she bought at a flea market.

"Let me do that you're not supposed to be standing for too long" He told her as he swooped in by the sink and grabbed the sponge from her hand.

"Jay I just got up, I told you I'm fine you don't need to worry about me."

"Yeah but I am going to, sit your pretty ass down on the couch and when I'm done I'll join you."

"That sounds like a good plan," she said as she let out a yawn and flopped onto the couch.

She watched Jay wash the dishes slightly swaying to the music that was playing until a song came on causing her to jump off the couch.

"Jay! Jay oh my god!" she yelled out in excitement. He quickly jumped out of his thoughts as the plate almost slipped from his hands and looked over at Erin.

"Are you okay?!" Every little thing worried him and he didn't want to be worried all the time but he was just scared something was going to happen to him.

"You don't remember this song?" she asked him a bit disappointed.

Jay wasn't listening to the music before but as he did he smiled as the memory from the night he first brought her to his apartment. He knew she was a sucker for slow romantic songs so he made her a playlist as he had cooked her his special meal, grill cheese with a side of fries.

He heard her humming to the beat of _La Vie En Rose_ by Louis Armstrong as she swayed to the music. By some luck this was her favorite song and it played as they were eating dinner, she almost choked on her sandwich when she heard the song causing Jay to laugh.

 _"Stop laughing! I love this song!" She told him as she gave a light punch on his arm while regaining her breath._

 _"This? It's so old! I'd never imagine a girl like you liking this kind of music." he said as he wiped his mouth with his napkin._

 _"Well a girl like me can offer a lot of surprises."_

 _"That's for sure," he said sexually, mocking her._

 _She shot him a look even though she knew he was joking._

 _"I never had any good memories with my dad but when I was a small kid, maybe 6 or 7, he had this vinyl in our trailer and he would play these old hits. He would call me over and told me to stand on his feet as he held my hands and we would sway to the music. In the midst of all the problems my family had I loved those moments. I really felt a bond with him in those few minutes. That's why I love this song." she told him._

"Hey! Jay, you listening?" Erin asked him trying to regain his attention.

"Yeah sorry, I was just remembering the night you told me why you love this song." He told her as he closed the tap and wiped his hands. He moved over to her as she held out her hands and they began dancing just like the did that night when she told him why she loved that song.

"That was the first time I ever opened up about my past to you and look at us now. We've come such a long way and I love having you by my side." She said as she leaned her head on his chest, she felt the warmth of his shirt and heard the soft rhythm of his heart. Her arms were wrapped around his side and his fell over her shoulders and connected at her lower waist.

All that could be heard was the beat from the song as the two of them swayed around the apartment to the song. In that moment the worried feeling that Jay had left him. He knew she was safe in his arms and didn't want this moment to end. As the song came to an end they stopped swaying and she looked up at him. He saw the light glisten against her eyes and her nose crinkle a bit. He loved when it happened. She tippy toed and her lips crashed into his. It was slow and long. It was perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Sorry for the long wait for an update. I've lost ideas for this fic so if you have any you can let me know in the reviews. I probably wont update for a while because I go on vacation at the end of this week but hopefully I'll get more ideas then! Enjoy!**

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Erin woke up to the feeling of the sun beaming on her face. She adjusted her eyes to read the numbers that were on the clock. 8:38 am.

She turned over to feel empty cool sheets, clearly Jay had been up already. She thought he had gone to the grocery or back to his apartment to get some clothes. She got off the bed wearing only Jay's old shirt, her feet feeling the coolness of the floor. She made her way to the bathroom to get ready for the day. Closing the door she walked over to the sink and grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste and looked up at the mirror to see her reflection.

All she saw was a tired version of herself. The look of exhaustion flooded her face, she wasn't all that tired but the past few days have had a toll on her body. While engrossed in her complexion she heard a loud bang followed by a "shit". Quickly she washed her face and ran out to see what was going on.

She made her way to the hall facing the kitchen and saw Jay struggling with the pots in the cupboard and looked on the ground to see the ones that fell causing the noise. Jay felt her presence and looked over to where she was standing.

"I am so sorry Er, I was just trying to make some breakfast for us and I couldn't get the pans out properly, you really need to fix your cupboards." he rambled

Erin laughed and walked over to him to help pick up the pans, "It's okay and I haven't really gotten the time to fix this place up you know." She said trying to defend herself as she picked up a pan and gave it to him to put back in the cupboard.

"Right, sorry. Did I wake you up?"

"No the blinding sun did that for me." she told him. There was a moment of silence that ran through the apartment.

"Maybe after we've moved everything from your apartment we can fix this place up so it's easy for the both of us, what do you say?" she asked him as she moved herself to the coffee machine pouring herself a cup.

"Oh yeah that's today…" Jay said unenthusiastically causing Erin to look up at him.

"Jay, what's wrong? Do you not want to move in?"

"No, oh god no of course I do. I just forgot that we were doing it today, it's all happening so fast."

"I guess it is, but it's a step that I'm excited to take, I want you to be excited too."

"I am Erin. I mean I practically live here, it'll just save me a ride over to get my clothes every week." He said as he put the last pan in the cupboard and closed it, turning around to face Erin who held the cup to warm up her cool hands.

"Mmkay" she said unconvinced as she began walking towards the couch to relax before they got on with their busy day. Jay knew he had to work harder to convince her that he was excited. He really was, he was just scared that she might realize how fast everything is happening and would disappear, again. He sighed and moved over to the couch and plopped himself on it right next to her. She cuddled in him and took the remote to turn on the TV to the blackhawks game that was replaying. The two of them sat and watched for the next few hours.

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The drive over to Jay's apartment was fairly quick as there wasn't much traffic on this Saturday afternoon. They both got out of her car and made their way to the elevator. Since Jay already furnished the place it was easy to move out because he only had to take out his belongings and hand over the key to the man who was taking over it.

They rode in the elevator quietly as neither of them had to say anything, Jay was scared that if he spoke about moving he'd scare Erin and that was the last thing he wanted to happen.

As the bell dinged and the elevator doors opened they walked out in sync and made their way to the door, he got out his key and opened it letting Erin in first before he got in. To Erin it was a familiar place, this apartment was where they spent most of the time after work eating chinese takeout, but for some reason it felt so weird o be in it. She took a breath of the scent that lingered throughout the hall and shuddered with all the memories.

"Ready to get started?" Jay asked as he moved into his bedroom.

"Yeah, where do you want to start first?" she asked as she saw a few boxes that needed to be folded open to put Jay's stuff in it.

"I'm going to do my closet and room, and I guess you can do anything that's in the hall." he told her and she nodded.

15 minutes of cleaning the apartment had passed and Jay came out to get a drink from the kitchen while Erin continued to put everything in the boxes.

"Are you excited for dinner at Hanks?" He asked.

"Always am, it'll feel different though. Last time I had a proper dinner at his house was when Justin came back to visit and we all sat down and reminisced about the old memories in that house. Now he wants all of us to bond, which is weird because-" she rambled but got cut off when she saw a picture frame on his TV stand.

It was a picture of Jay and Erin on their first date when he pretended to be her fiance for her friends whom she was intimidated by. That night took a turn when they didn't even spend the night with her friends but instead went for dinner, just the two of them. Of all the times she spent in his apartment she never realized this frame until now.

"Erin what's wrong?" Jay asked, concerned since she stopped mid sentence.

"You kept this picture?" she turned around and asked, holding the frame in her hands facing him so he could see what she was talking about.

Jay squinted to get a better look at the picture in the frame, "Of course I did. That was the night we-"

"We first went out together." Erin finished his sentence and smiled running her hands over the frame and smiling at him.

"Yeah, but it was also the first night we made ourselves official to each other and the night I realized I really loved you for you. I learned more about you that night and I just, I knew that I wasn't just in love with your present self but I was in love with the history that came behind you because everything that happened is what made this beautiful, funny, smart, sexy, badass person." He told her, with every adjective he said he walked closer to her until he reached her body which he wrapped his hands around her waist pulling her close into him.

Erin put one hand on his chest and looked up at him, her eyes glistening against the light, "That was the night I knew that this was going to be a lot more than a fling. I fell in love with you Jay." She told him, he ran the pad of his thumb over her soft cheek and she tippy toed making it easier for her lips to crash into his.

Their moment was cut off by the buzzing that was felt on Jay's thigh because of his phone in his pocket. Breaking apart from her he stuck his hand in his pocket and took out the phone, on the screen read 'Voight' "What could he possibly want now?" he thought to himself. He walked away from Erin as he answered the call.

"Hey, if you're wondering if we're coming over to eat we are, sorry I forgot to call." He rambled

"I'm not calling about the barbecue, we just an impromptu case and we have to head into the station. I need you both to head over now so I can fill you in and get on it…"

All Erin heard were "Mhm's" coming out of Jay's mouth but his face was unreadable.

"Uhh Jay" Voight continued

"Yeah sarg?"

"One of the culprits that we're dealing with is Bunny, Erin's mom. So if you can don't mention it to her as yet until you both reach here, I don't want her to be aggressive."

Jay nodded as if Voight could see him and ended the call. He looked over at Erin who was staring at him with curiosity in her eyes. He knew she was going to hate him for keeping this from her but it was just until they reached the station.

"What happened?"

"They got a lead on this case, he said it's big and he knows you're supposed to be on leave because of your surgery but he needs everyone for this and wants us to go to the station."

Erin was actually really excited to get out of the house and back to work ever since she had her surgery but she tried her best to hide that emotion from Jay and simply nodded to what he said.

"Shoot." She stopped dead in her tracks as she realized she was missing something.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Jay asked worried.

"I forgot my badge and gun at my apartment."

"We don't have time to get it, you could use another one from the station we really have to head out."

"Damn, it must be a real bad one." She said looking at him.

"Yeah, it sounded like it was." He said. He couldn't look her in the eyes without her knowing he was lying so he quickly walked in front of her and darted out the door before she could ask any more questions.

Erin knew something was up with the way Jay was acting after he got off the phone with Voight but she didn't want to stir anything up between them so she let it go and followed him out of the apartment. They got into the car and rode in silence and reached the district in less than 10 minutes.

Upon entering the district they were met with Platt who was occupied in her paperwork to acknowledge them so they walked towards the stairs to buzz themselves in when Erin saw someone familiar out of the corner of her eye.

"Bunny?" Erin was filled with utter confusion at the sight of Bunny's arms being held back with cuffs with a patrol man leading her to the interrogation room.

She walked back down the stairs and made her way to Bunny who had a wicked smile on her face.

"What're you doing? Why are you in cuffs? What stupid shit did you do now Bunny?" Erin asked with a harsh tone.

"It's one thing to meet your daughter in a police station under bad circumstances but geez Erin I wouldn't mind if you talked to me with some manners." Bunny spat back.

"Manners?" Erin laughed. "That's the last thing you're going to get out of me."

"Figures since you were raised by a man with the worst manners ever." Bunny rolled her eyes as she was talking about Voight.

This got Erin even more furious causing her to step forward to Bunny almost threatening to hurt her for her words.

"You do not get to talk about Voight that way. Clearly we can see who is the better person over here since you're the one walking around with handcuffs on them and not Voight." Erin fought back with an evil stare at bunny.

"Erin. Upstairs. Now." She heard Voight bark at her. She turned around to see that everyone in the district was now watching her showdown with Bunny including Jay and Voight. She couldn't care anymore about what Bunny does but she felt herself get red at everyone's stare.

"Let's go!" He barked again causing Erin to run up the stairs.

"Voight. Voight!" Erin yelled trying to get his attention. He knew what she was gonna ask next and wasn't in the mood.

"Voight! What is Bunny doing here?" She asked pulling on his shoulder to turn him around and face her.

"Er-" she heard Jay call her and notion for her to sit at her desk so Voight could explain but she was too stubborn to listen.

"No Jay. Voight what is Bunny doing here?" She asked again. He knew she was going to keep asking until he answered her.

With a sigh he answered her question, "We found her on the scene. She was dealing with Noel. Olinksy and I caught her scoring some coke and we know she has details that could help us get closer to Olion so that's why we took her in."

Erin listened to him but couldn't look at him in the eyes. She looked around and saw that no one was surprised at what Bunny was doing there, clearly they all knew about it before she did. Including Jay.

Without saying anything back Erin walked over to her desk after Voight explained everything to her signaling that she was mad, at him, at Jay, at Bunny, and at herself for getting so worked up.

Voight explained more about the case to the entire team and gave them enough information so that they had a proper lead.

"I want everyone suited up and ready to go. This could be a major bust if everything goes right and everyone who leaves right now must come back here, ya understand?" Everyone nodded in sync and Erin got up to go to the break room to gather her emotions before heading out. Jay saw this as an opportunity to make sure she's okay and not angry at him.

"Er-" He called barely a whisper as he walked into the breakroom.

"What." She snapped back.

"I'm sorry you had to see your mom like that…"

"One. She is not my mom, she never was and she will never be. Second, you knew about this and you didn't even tell me when you found out. You left me off guard Jay. Everyone was staring, it became this huge scene. Did it not occur to you to tell your girlfriend, your partner, 'Hey, we have to go in for this case oh and by the way your mom is one of the culprits.'" Letting everything out Erin felt hot tears begin to form in her eyes. She couldn't argue with him anymore so she stormed out of the break room and headed down to suit up.

"Erin!" Jay yelled as she ran out. He stood there dumbfounded. He knew that she would've been mad at him but not like this. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed at what just happened before he too made his way out of the break room.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I had an idea for what I want to do with this fic but it wouldn't have fit with the current topic so this chapter is just going to be fluff and it'll transition into it. The barbecue that was supposed to happen is being put off for a few chapters because of the case going on right now. Also I'm not that great at writing cases so I usually write them out briefly.**

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"Erin! Erin can you listen to me?" Jay called after her as they reached the garage to suit up and head out.

She ignored him and continued to walk towards the rest of the team. She knew he did it for a reason, to protect her, but she was too heated to talk to him at that moment. She grabbed her vest and saw Jay following her, she quickly came to a halt causing Jay to stumble upon her. She stuck out the vest into Jay's chest indicating that she needed help to put it on her.

He was surprised at her actions and forgot what he was going to say to her. He decided to drop it for now and head on with the case. He moved her shoulder length dirty blonde hair to her right shoulder so he could get a better view of the vest. It had become routine to suit her up, when they were first partners he always hesitated putting the vest on her scared that he put it on too tight and was hurting her, but now he knew how tight she wanted it.

After he finished she turned around letting her hair fall back to where it was originally and mouthed a 'Thank you' to him. They stood in formation as they listened to Voight give out the orders for today's case.

"Antonio and Ruzek, I want you two to sit out front to see for any unusual behavior going on on the streets. Olinsky and I will head in to the house and Lindsay and Halstead you two scout the back. Understood?" Voight asked. Everyone nodded in unison.

Before they left Erin glanced over to Jay who was staring at Voight, she thought he didn't notice as he looked focused on Voight but as she looked away from the corner of her eye she saw him glance over at her.

They both walked out of the garage together but Voight held out his arm to stop her by her shoulder, "You okay kid?"

"I guess." She said as she walked out to join Jay who was waiting by the passenger door for her to unlock the car.

As he entered the car he opened his mouth to speak, "Are you ever going to let me drive?" he teased her. He always did that, he knew the answer but it was worth a try. In all honesty he didn't mind it at all she was a good driver and he knew she loved it.

"I'm- Not right now Halstead." She said sternly as she buckled her seatbelt and turned on the car. Clearly she was still pissed at him for lying to her, she hated that about herself but she couldn't shake it off.

The rest of the drive they rode in silence and made their way to their designated spot. To Erin's surprise the bust was a lot easier than she anticipated it to be. They didn't find all the information that they wanted to but it was enough to interrogate Bunny and the other culprits they had back at the district.

After clearing the site Halstead and Lindsay headed back to the district. This time he wouldn't let it be silent, he wanted her to talk to him.

As he was going to open his mouth she cut him off, "How long did you know?"

"Know what?"

"That Bunny was part of all of this"

"This morning when Voight called us in."

She just nodded and went back to staring at the road.

"Erin…" Jay called out causing her to turn her attention to him but not her stare.

"I'm sorry for not telling you but Voight told me not too, he didn't want you to stress out before we even found anything out." he rambled.

"I get it." she replied. He knew she wasn't a woman of words but it really bugs him sometimes.

"So… are we okay?" He asked.

"I didn't mean to go off on you. It was just in the heat of the moment, I didn't expect to see her especially with handcuffs around her wrists. I know she's bad news but she got out off my life for a while and seeing her back here again… I don't know I just didn't expect it."

"I get it, but she's not your responsibility. You don't need to bring her back in your life if you don't want too. Once this case is over she'll be out of your sight." He tried his best to reassure her.

"I hope so." She had a somber look on her face but she knew the team would work to help her feel better. She continued to look out on the road and it was quiet again until they reached the station.

As the two of them walked into the precinct she saw Bunny being led to an interrogation room, she was still embarrassed for causing a scene in the morning so she ignored her and walked upstairs. They all moved to their desks, she flopped into her chair letting out an exhausted sigh as she ran her hands over her face and through her hair. Jay knew this was hard on her even if she wouldn't admit it but he just felt as if he couldn't do anything for her.

"Erin. My office." Voight called her in.

Tiredly she got up and walked inside his office closing the door as she entered and sat on the seat that he signaled her to sit on.

"Yeah sarg?"

"I know this case is having a toll on you Erin especially with who is involved but I need you to find some energy within you to help us out."

"What do you mean?"

"Bunny is in the interrogation room and she's the only one who'd give us answers, I think you asking her or just being in the room would make it easier for us to get what we need."

"You're using me for bait." she said as she rolled her eyes and his request.

"Erin."

"I'll do it. If that means she'll be out of my hairs faster I'll do it." She said. Voight nodded and she got up and walked out of the office, past everyone, and down to the interrogation room.

Down in the room Antonio joined her and Bunny was brought in and told to sit on the chair opposite of Erin. Bunny, covered in the smell of cigarettes and booze. It was a familiar smell, her hair was disheveled but to Erin it was never made nicely. The bags under her eyes indicated that she hadn't slept for days but Erin felt no sympathy for the woman sitting across her. After Hank took her in their connection was limited and Erin liked it that way.

"Would you look at that. I never imagined me being interrogated by my own daughter." Bunny spat out and laughed at the irony of the situation.

"I never thought you'd be sober enough to even answer my questions." Erin spat back. There was coldness in her eyes as she stared at the woman who caused her the most pain in her life.

"Now now, that's no way to talk to your mother Erin. I raised you better than that, you're embarrassing me." She said making it obvious that they weren't the only two in the room.

"You've raised me better than that? I'm sorry I have no recollection of you actually raising me in the first place. Hank did that. He taught me better than to succumb to your horrible ways of living."

"Ah yes, Hank Voight. He's brainwashed you you know? You could have so much freedom and excitement being with me. But there he goes telling you I am bad news and what not. He's bad news Erin. He's going to ruin you."

"M- Bunny. You do not get to talk about the man who saved my life that way. We aren't here to discuss that, in fact I never want to discuss that with you ever again." Erin said in a harsh tone. She was about to start yelling but by the look of Bunny's face and her laughing reaction she knew she was just adding more fuel to the fire.

"I can't do this anymore." Erin got up and made her way out of the interrogation room.

"Run, run back to Hank like you always do. It's what you're good at." she heard Bunny yell out as she made her way to the locker room.

Her breathing started to increase and her chest became tight. Her palms were sweating and she couldn't stop pacing. What was going on with her? She's never felt like this before. She couldn't breathe anymore, it was just too much for her. She was sweating everywhere and she could feel tears brimming her in eyes.

Jay was walking by when he heard her voice silently cursing off and her gasping for air. He walked in and saw her sitting on the bench with her elbows on her knees and her hands on her face having trouble to breathe.

"Erin?" He walked in confused. When he got a clear picture of what was going on her ran over to her and moved her arms so that he could see her face.

"Hey! Hey what's wrong?" He asked as he saw her blotchy face, she couldn't get any words out as she could barely breathe normally so he just took her into his arms and calmed her down. He could feel her heart beating rapidly and he rubbed her back trying to slow down her breathing, it took a while but slowly he felt her body relax and the sobs turned into sniffles.

Once she was okay she broke away from his arms and saw that her tears stained his shirt, she wiped away the tears and felt her hot face. "I'm sorry" she told him as she got up and walked over to the sink to see her reflection.

"For what?"

She turned around and pointed to his shirt where the stain was, right by his left shoulder where she was leaning on.

"It'll dry up, are you okay?"

Cleaning up her face she nodded and walked out of the locker room before they could continue the conversation.

"Erin wait!" He called out to her

"Jay I'm fine. I just had a panic attack it was nothing can we drop it?" It was more of a rhetorical question and before he could reply she walked out of the room leaving him there alone.

The rest of the day had passed fairly quick. Erin and Jay did not say a word to each other after being in the locker room together but they both knew it was good to give them space. Voight had let them go for the day but the both of them still had some paperwork to finish up on.

While Jay was finishing up his paperwork he looked up from the desk to see Erin focused in hers. The light was casting over her from the window and even though her eyebrows were scrunched up and her face was full of confusion she still looked like an angel to her. He got up from his desk and moved over to hers.

"Hey, I know we never got to finish moving things from my apartment so I've not officially moved into yours so I was wondering if I could crash at yours for the night?" He asked. He felt dumb for asking but he wanted to make some conversation.

"Yeah sure, of course" she answered, her eyes never leaving the paperwork.

He sighed and walked back to his desk and waited for her to finish.

Once she was done they grabbed their things and headed towards the car where of course she got into the drivers seat. It became normal to the both of them for her to do that. She ignited the car and they drove back to the apartment.

"Erin can we talk about what happened today?"

The road was surprisingly empty so Erin picked up a bit of speed so she could avoid this conversation.

"I don't really want to"

"You can't do this to me again"

"Do what?"

"Shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out Jay, I just don't want to talk about it."

"That's what shutting out is Erin."

"Look. Bunny brought up some stupid shit and I got a panic attack, that's it. I'm-"

"Fine, I know. That's all you ever are Erin. You're fine. You get hurt, 'I'm fine', you lose your partner, 'I'm fine'…"

"You do not get to bring Nadia into this Jay." Her tone was getting harsher and her eyes were focusing on Jay more than the road.

"It got your attention didn't it? You're not fine Erin!" He started to yell.

"I think I know how I'm feeling. Maybe you're the one who's not fine Jay! You're always running after me making sure I am fine," the stop light turned yellow and Erin picked up speed thinking she would make it, as she neared the stop light she looked back at Jay who never stopped looking at her. She felt the hot tears return back but she fought off hard to make sure it didn't fall. "You're the one that's not-"

Before Erin could finish her sentence that even Jay knew what it was going to be she felt a force crush into her and everything became black in an instance. All Jay saw was everything around him spin around as glass shattered all around him. Eventually the spinning stopped but he felt something drip down his face, brought his hand up to his head and then out in front of his face to see a dark red color over his fingers. Blood. Oozing out of his throbbing head. He looked down at the rest of his body and tried to move but every inch he dead a sharp pain bolted through his body. Once he gained enough senses of his own body his mind quickly darted to Erin's who was still next to him but unconscious. The airbag had opened making it unable to see the damage that happened to her but just like him he saw blood dripping down her head.

"Erin! Erin? Erin Can you hear me?" He called out. He knew she couldn't hear him but he didn't want it to be real. He didn't want this to be real. This couldn't be happening to them.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: EXTREMEEEEEELY sorry for the really long wait for this update. I've just been super busy with summer activities and this has actually taken me very long to complete so it is kind of rushed which I apologize for but I do know where I'm going with this storyline so it's all good! Enjoy it!**

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Jay closed his eyes and opened it wide as he tried to shut out these past events. He couldn't, it was all real, everything was real. He looked back down at his legs which he was able to move but his seatbelt was stuck and he was lodged underneath it. The car was upside down so moving was out of Jay's options. He felt hopeless and useless. The woman he loves is dying right next to him and he can't do anything to save her because of a stupid, stupid seatbelt.

He tried calling her again, "Erin. Erin are you awake? Can you hear me?" He was met with silence. Her head laid on the airbag, her face turned the opposite way so he couldn't see it. From his limited view it looked as if her leg was stuck.

He didn't know how long he could just sit there without getting any help. He was unable to call anyone to help them but he figured their team would find them and save them, he just didn't know how long that could take. How long she could take. He needed erin to survive more than he needed himself to survive.

"Hey! Anyone there?" Jay heard an unfamiliar voice call out.

"Anyone alive? Or conscious?" He heard call out again. He tried to yell for help but his voice was hoarse and barely came out of his mouth.

"Help us" he said trying his best to get that man's attention

"Help" he yelled louder again. The man heard his voice and made his way over to Jay's side. The window was shattered making it easier for the man to check out what's wrong with Jay.

"Hey man are you okay? You're bleeding on your head, we should get you out of there." The guy said touching the site of the blood on Jays head causing him to wince.

"I'm, I'm okay. I need you to check on Erin" he told the guy as he looked over to Erin who still remained unconscious. The man ran over to her side and saw the blood than ran down her face, her legs were stuck in the column but he couldn't see any other injuries.

He tried waking her up but it was no use, he moved away from her window and brought out his phone to call an ambulance.

"Uh... They said they're going to be here in 5 minutes so everything should be okay." The guy told Jay as he made his way back to his window.

"What's your name?" Jay asked the man who was starting to panic, he looked to be in his young twenties lost and confused.

"What? Oh, it's Michael. And yours?"

"Jay."

"Jay, everything is going to be okay. The ambulance is going to come and we're going to get you to the hospital." Michael reassured Jay and started to pace around the street repeating "everything is going to be okay" under his breath.

Jay felt his eyes get heavier and tried to keep them open till the ambulance came but it was hard for him. Just as soon as he felt his eyes shut and the world go dark he was jolted awake by Michael who was shaking his arm causing pain to radiate through his body, he saw the lights and heard the ambulance sirens and felt a wave of relief roll over him. He was okay to be okay. Erin was going to be okay. They were going to be, okay.

The paramedics helped Jay get out first as he was conscious and brought him over to a gurney to check for any injuries. He didn't know what they were saying as it all sounded gibberish but his mind was focused on getting Erin out of there.

"Er-Erin, you need to get Erin I'm fine." He told one of the paramedics as he tried to sit up and go over to the sight of the car to see her.

"Sir we're trying our best to get her out of there but we need you to lay back down so we can examine you." She told him as she pushed him gently back down on the gurney.

He let them examine him but his eyes never left the firefighters trying to get Erin out of the car. The door was rammed in because of the other car causing her space to be limited. The only relief Jay had was seeing the familiar faces of Kelly and Casey.

"Kelly!" Jay screamed out trying to get his attention.

"Jay?" He replied confused at the familiar voice and walked over to the ambulance

"Dude, are you okay?" He asked

"Yeah I'm, I think I'm alright." Jay answered.

"He's okay, no internal injuries besides a broken bone and a few bruises here and there." The paramedic reassured them.

"I-I need you to get Erin out of there Kelly. I need her to be alright, please."

Kelly put a hand on Jays shoulder and he flinched a little because of the slight pain he had, "We will. We will bring her back to you." He said as he let go of his shoulder and walked towards the car where Erin was still in.

Jay sat there on the gurney and sighed as he felt helpless. He caused this to happen and he can't even help the woman he loved. She could be dying and he can't do anything. All he heard were the firemen yelling "1,2,3" in unison and the metal of the car scraping against the road. He heard that for a while until finally he heard one guy yell out "We got her!" Those three words got Jay to jump off the gurney and run over to see the fireman carrying a lifeless Erin. He tried to hold back, to hold back all the tears and pain that has been building up inside of himself. "Why couldn't that be him? Why does she always get all this shit." He thought to himself. As they put her on the gurney he was on and tried to resuscitate her he felt the hot tears running down his cheek.

Every time he saw her body jump from the shock of the paddles his heart skipped a beat and more tears ran down his face.

"She's crashing," he heard one of the paramedics say.

"Push one of epi and charge to 300," he heard another.

"We're losing her. We got to get to the hospital now before it's too late." He heard the first paramedic say to the other. Before he knew it his body was moving into the ambulance as everyone geared up into it and they were driving towards Chicago Med.

The drive there was a blur to Jay as his eyes focused on Erin's face. Even lifeless and pale she still looked like his angel. He wasn't ready for her to leave as yet. They still had a lot more to experience, he's supposed to take her on dates to her favorite restaurants, to the carnival and watch her eyes light up when she sees all the rides, to their bedroom to profess their endless love for each other. They're supposed to get married in a beautiful field just how he wants it, but she'll probably want a small wedding, nothing too grand, he thought. They're supposed to have a huge house on the outskirts of the city for their kids, their beautiful beautiful kids who will have Jay's eyes and Erin's dimples. They are supposed to have that. The fairytale. He is supposed to change her life from the living hell that it was to the perfect ending. It was too early for her to leave him.

"We got her," he heard the paramedic, Ashley her name was, say.

The steady rhythmic beat of her pulse sounded in the ambulance and everyone breathed a sigh of relief including Jay.

He grabbed one of her arms that was starting to become warm again and kissed the top of it, "thank you. Thank you so much." He whispered to her.

4 hours had passed since they reached the hospital and Erin was taken away from Jay. She was rushed into surgery since she kept crashing after they resuscitated her in the ambulance.

Jay walked back to the waiting area after calling voight and the rest of the team to let them know what happened. He leaned against the wall and sunk to the ground bringing his knees to his chest. He put his elbows on his knees and laid his head in his palms. He was so exhausted, everything that happened to him in the past 24 hours was starting to take a toll on his body and mind. But he had to stay awake in case anything happened with Erin.

He took out his phone that somehow despite that horrible crash it managed to stay alive and the firemen found it while on site. He had to keep himself occupied so he turned on the game candy crush. "Funny" he thought to himself. Erin always played candy crush whenever she needed to pass time or was bored of Jay.

The next thing he knew his eyes grew heavy and he felt them shut little by little until they were closed fully and everything around him became dark.

" Mr. Halstead. Mr. Halstead. wake up." He heard a feminine voice call his name.

She shook his shoulder a bit to help him regain himself as he took in his surroundings. Once he realized where he was and all the memories from the past 24 hours flooded back into his mind he quickly got onto his feet but was met with a giddy sensation.

"Woah, take it easy." The voice said while holding his shoulders to help him find balance. He found his balance and blinked a few times as he took in the bright light and adjusted himself.

"You good?" She asked.

"Um, yeah. Yeah I'm okay." He assured her.

"I'm Erin's nurse. She got out of surgery about an hour ago but was in post op. She has just been moved to the ICU area so I decided to come and find you." The nurse told Jay.

"Uh-" he was trying to get the name of the nurse before he could go on."

"Eloise" she told him.

"Eloise, is Erin okay?"

"How about I take you to her room and I'll let the doctor explain you more about her condition." She told him with a not so promising look on her face. Panic started to rise up in Jay but he tried to remain calm before he jumped to conclusions.

Eloise took him down the ICU area which to Jay was very morbid. He hated hospitals ever since he was little and ever since Afghanistan after losing his best friend the hospital became his worst enemy. After walking a long path she finally slowed down and opened the door to the room that held Erin.

Jay walked in following Eloise, and was met by Erin's doctor and Erin who laid on the bed that was slightly elevated. She had a tube going into her mouth, Jay guessed that helped her breathe, an IV needle in her right arm and a few other needles in her left that Jay didn't know what was for. Her head had a wrap around it and her leg in a cast. She was asleep and her doctor was writing something down on the chart he had in his arm until he heard the door open and saw Eloise and Jay walk in.

" ," the doctor greeted him.

"Jay." He told him.

"Jay, I'm Dr. Swanson, I operated on Erin when she came in."

"How is she?"

"Erin sustained multiple injuries, some even life threatening, and she kept crashing in the OR, but we managed to keep her alive and did our best to fix the damage. She had a little bleed on her head caused by the impact of the steering wheel that gave her a minor concussion, nothing to serious but we did put a wrap around because of the bleeding. Internally she was okay but the main problem were her legs. The accident caused her to injure her legs and get it stuck in the column which broke her left leg..."

Jay's eyes widened at what was saying about Erin.

"The impact that the crash had on her legs caused her to be temporarily paralyzed in her left leg and the right thigh." He told Jay.

"Temporarily paralyzed? As in she won't be able to walk?"

"For a while. When she heals we are going to start her on rehab and physical activity that help her gain back the feeling and muscle in her legs. From the looks of it she will be getting better in a few months if she agrees to do the rehab. If not she could be looking at permanent paralyzation in both of her legs."

Jay nodded at his answer as he was in shock to say any words. He knew this was going to be hard because Erin is stubborn. She's not going to want to go to rehab and it's going to take a lot of convincing.

"How long till she wakes up again?"

"It takes about an hour or two for the anesthesia to wear off after surgery so about any time now. You may want to ease the news onto her before she hyperventilates but she'll anyways figure it out herself." Dr. Swanson told Jay.

The doctor didn't know Erin at all which made Jay laugh internally. This was going to be hell for her and even though he's not ready to see her go through that he is going to help her get better.

"I'm going to leave you two alone for now. If anything happens just press the grey button next to her bed and the nurses will come to assist you." He told Jay before leaving the room.

Jay walked over to Erin's bed and grabbed the chair closer to it. He held her left hand, the same hand he did in the ambulance and kissed the top of it like he did before.

"Hey..." He was at loss of words. So much was going through his head right now, trying to process what the doctor said that he couldn't say anything to her.

"I am so sorry for what happened. This is all my fault. And when you wake up you can hate me all you want but I need you to promise me one thing. I need you to get better. I need you to stay alive and fight to stay alive. This isn't going to be easy for the both of us, especially you. But the Erin I know is a fighter. You fought this hard and you're going to continue fighting because..." He began to tear up, it wasn't like Jay to cry but he was so emotionally tired. "Because I need my partner. I need the woman who makes me smile every morning to make me smile for every day to come. I need the woman who won't take any shit from anyone. I need the woman who isn't afraid to be vulnerable with me. I need the woman who allows me to be myself with her. I need my woman. I need my Erin. The Erin that gives me all of those things. You're not just my partner in crime but you're my partner in life, in love, in everything. You and I are supposed to grow old together but we can't if you don't fight through this. I am going to help you get better whether you let me or not because Erin, Erin I love you so much. I am not ready to lose you." He finally confessed everything he had to say to her.

After kissing her hand one more time he saw Erin's eyes flutter open. Tears rolled down the side of her eyes as she stared at Jay. She was unable to speak because of the tube in her mouth which made her feel uneasy and began to panic. She pulled her hand away from Jays and brought it up to the tube in her mouth, her breathing increased and her heart rate began to rise.

"Erin? Erin stay calm! Don't try to fight it. I'm going to call someone," Jay told her as he rushed to press the grey button.

A few seconds later some nurses, including Eloise, entered the room.

"She's trying to fight off the tubing, I don't know... I don't know what to do."

"Jay we need you to step back, she's going to be alright. This is normal, we're going to take out the tubing so she can breathe on her own now." Eloise explained to him.

He moved back and watched how the nurses injected something into Erin's arm causing her heart rate and breathe to decrease and she became calm again. Eloise told her to take a deep breath in and she removed the tube from her throat causing Erin to gag and cough. It pained Jay to see her like this but knew that since she was able to breathe on her own meant she was going to get better.

"Erin..." He whispered

She opened her mouth and tried to form some words but her voice was hoarse and it couldn't come out clearly. She saw the worried look on Jay's face and tried again.

"Erin take it easy, we're gonna get you some water and it'll be easier to talk," one of the nurses told her.

She closed her mouth and waited for the nurse to get her the water. Jay sat back down on the chair and took hold of her hand and the two of them sat in silence. She looked up at his face and saw that his eyes were locked on her face. She gave a slight smile but had no energy to express how she really felt about this situation.

The nurse came back with some water and ice chips, she raised Erin's bed into a sitting position and gave Erin the cup with the straw in it. The cool water rushed down her throat and it felt like a relief to Erin. She tried to open her mouth again and speak, this time it felt easier.

"Jay."

Hearing her say his name made his heart skip a beat but he wanted to remain calm even though he was ready to jump her at any minute. "Hey." He said with a sly smile.

The nurse left the room and it was only the two of them now.

"What's wrong with me?" Erin asked him as she saw his face of discouragement as he looked over her body.

Jay didn't know how to break the news to her so he started from the beginning, "we were in a car accident..."

"Clearly." She said a bit agitated at the fact that she couldn't feel her leg.

"You were stuck in the car and the firemen Got you out and brought you to the hospital, you were in surgery for a long time, or what felt like a long time. The doctor did his best but..."

"But what?" She cut him off again

"But because of the impact your left leg and right thigh are temporarily paralyzed."

He watched as her face lost her curious expression and changed to disappointment. He knew she was trying to hide back the tears, it was typical of Erin.

"The doctor said that once the rest of your body heals they're going to put you in rehab and hopefully you will gain feeling in them again."

"Hopefully..." Erin looked away from Jay now to the floor, hot tears were brimming in her eyes but she didn't want to admit it. This was too much for her. Everything was perfect two days ago, and now she's temporarily paralyzed.

"We're going to get you through this Erin. I don't care what I have to do but you're not going to quit." He reassured her.

It didn't make her feel better. She already felt her word crumbling, what else could possibly happen to her? How would she ever get better? She will never be the woman Jay fell in love with. She tried to put a smile on her face for him but it just wouldn't come, so she just nodded and closed her eyes to shut everything out. To shut the world out, to shut the horrible accident, and the paralyzed legs, and to shut Jay out.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Once again I am the worst person when it comes to updating but I have been so occupied with school that I literally do not have time to do ANYTHING else. I wanted to at least spare you guys and update the fic it is not my beeeeest work but it's something and hopefully when I get my next break I can update a worth waiting chapter! Also a few of you have been asking for Voight, I will try to get him in in the next few chapters just bear with me please :)**

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She couldn't take it anymore. Being in this hospital room, seeing the pitying eyes of everyone she loved, eating the horrible hospital food. She was just so glad she was going home today, she missed her apartment. Jay had left Erin to go fill out her discharge papers and it felt like this was the first time he left her.

She knew he was trying, that he felt guilty for all of this and if he helped her get better he would feel better too. But she was just sick of him being there. If it wasn't him it was Voight.

Erin sat on the side of her bed waiting for Jay to come back to get her on the wheelchair. She had been exhausted over the past few days as it was hard for her to get comfortable enough to fall asleep.

Just as she was about to close her eyes she heard the door open.

"I finished filling out your discharge papers, we're ready when you're ready." Jay told her as he and the doctor stood in the room.

"I'm ready." She replied bluntly

Her tone has been like that ever since she found out about her legs. Jay didn't understand, he thought she'd be excited to get out of here but she just doesn't seem to care anymore. He knew Erin and he knew this was going to happen.

He dismissed her attitude and listened to what the doctor had to say as the nurses got Erin into the wheelchair. He saw how Erin wasn't listening to him and since he was the one taking care of her he took an interest in what the doctor said.

Once the doctor was done telling them everything they needed to know on how to handle Erin they made their way to the car. Jay carried Erin out of the wheel chair, which gratefully the hospital gave to them for free, and into the front seat. He saw her shiver as she sat in the seat. Her face became pale and she looked like she was about to throw up, he figured it was PTSD from the accident.

"You okay?" He asked.

She just nodded.

He put the wheelchair in the trunk of the car and got into the drivers seat. He waited for Erin to make a joke about this time being the only time he gets to drive but she didn't say anything. He turned on the car and began to drive.

The whole car ride it was silent. Erin just stared out the window while Jay kept his gaze on the road, he thought turning on the radio would lighten the mood but it only made things more awkward.

As they approached her apartment he began to slow down and he could hear a sigh release from Erin.

"Welcome home," he said and put his hand on top of hers.

She didn't react to that but only smiled at him and looked back out the window and her apartment that she was waiting to get into. As much as she wanted to jump out of the car and run into her apartment she knew she couldn't. She knew she had to wait for Jay. This is how her life was going to be like. She's going to be known as Jay's responsibility, Jay's burden.

He carried her out of the car and into the wheel chair and moved her along to her apartment. Luckily the elevator was big enough to fit the both of them in. As he entered their apartment he saw Erin take a deep breath and smile as she was back home.

"I can wheel myself now, you don't need to do it for me Jay." She told him sternly

He just nodded and let her move around the house as he put all of her things in their room. He kept reminding himself to pull through, even if she doesn't he has to.

"What do you want to eat for dinner?" He asked her

"Anything, I don't care"

"Yes you do Erin. You haven't eaten good food in a while and I know you, you always have something you want to eat."

He thought that would make her laugh, or even smile but again he got nothing but a blank face from her.

"I don't care Jay." She told him as she wheeled into the room

He sighed and went off to make them chicken burgers. He was so caught up in cooking them that he didn't even realize Erin hadn't come out of the room. He didn't want to push her just as yet so he continued to make the burgers and decided to call her once they were ready.

"Erin the burgers are ready," he called out from the kitchen. He took the two plates from the counter and set it on the dinner table.

She hadn't come out as yet.

"Erin!" He called again. He waited a few minutes before he got suspicious. Jay got up from the table and walked over into the bedroom.

As he entered didn't see her, he figured she must've been in the bathroom. He turned the knob but was met with resistance.

"Erin? Erin open up, dinner is ready."

He was met with quietness but he stood there with his ear against the door and his palm up against it as well, waiting to hear her move or make a sound. To feel the knob turn slowly and the door open. Instead he was met with silence, but then he heard a noise.

He pressed his ear closer to the door to decipher the sound she was make when he realized it was sniffles. She'd been crying. God he felt so stupid.

"Erin, baby please open up. Talk to me." Jay tried to console her, he tried everything but he knew she wasn't going to let him in this easily. He knew what she was doing. She was putting up her walls, but this time he couldn't blame her.

After leaning against the door for 10 minutes he finally felt the door knob turn and the door open slowly. He looked down and was met with Erin's eyes. They were red and all around it was puffy. She quickly looked away from him and wheeled out of the bathroom as he followed her into the kitchen.

"I made burgers, I figured you needed your protein but that was all I could find in the fridge."

"I guess that's what happens when you're too occupied trying to recover from an accident Jay. You don't get time to go to the grocery store." Her tone wasn't sarcastic, it wasn't playful, it wasn't Erin. This was harsh and it only made Jay feel more stupid.

"Erin... I didn't mean it like that."

"Whatever." She looked down at her burger before she took a huge bite out of hit. She was hungry, they both knew it even if she wouldn't admit it. It felt so good for her to eat something other than hospital food. She wouldn't look up at Jay. He didn't take it personally but she wouldn't even acknowledge him.

"I know this is hard for you Erin but we can get through this. We are going to get through this. We are going to get you help and help you heal. We are going to get back the Erin you used to be. Okay?" Jay tried to reassure her.

There was silence, she quickly looked up at him before she looked down at her burger and took another bite of it.

"Erin answer me."

"I don't want help Jay. You don't get it do you? I can never go back to the old me. You heard the doctor, even if I do therapy I will never gain full motion of my legs Jay. How can I be the person I was before this accident? Before I was a cop. A cop who would run, who would tackle, who would always be on the move. I can't be a cop who does that anymore Jay. If I can't get it all back why even bother trying?"

"You can try for me. For our future. For yourself. Maybe if you try you will get that motion again. Screw science, screw what the doctor says. I believe that you can be the cop that you used to be."

"Screw science Jay? Are you being serious right now? You want me to believe what you say over what my doctor says? Why can't you get the fact that I am not going to get better Jay. Get that inside of your pea sized brain that believes everything will be rainbows and sunshine all day long. Why do you even care so much?"

"Why do I care? Erin I care because I love you. Because I want a life with you. I want to get married and have kids with you. I can't do that with someone-" Jay started to raise his voice.

"Someone who what? Someone who sits in a wheelchair all day?"

"That's not what I meant." He said quietly.

"No tell me Jay, tell me what you were going to say?" Erin began to yell, her tone getting harsher and harsher.

"Someone who doesn't believe in herself!" Jay yelled back at her.

"Go to hell Jay. I'm tired of this. I can't give you what you want. Just get out of her, I don't want to be a burden to someone else. I can handle myself I don't need you."

"Erin," he started to regret bringing this up. He knew it was too soon.

"Get out Jay!" Erin yelled at him and pointed towards the door to get out.

He didn't move. He wouldn't move. He was going to stay, even if she didn't want him to.

She wheeled over to him and started hitting him.

"Jay. Get out." She wasn't screaming, but she was hard. She was mad.

"Get the hell out!" She yelled again as she pulled him by his pants towards the door. She opened the door and tried her hardest to push him out. He felt like deadweight. With all her strength she finally got him out.

"Stay the hell away from me." She told him before she slammed the door shut in his face.

Jay stood in the hallway staring at her door. He did this on purpose, he knew she had to let it out and get him out of there but it still hurt. He had to stay strong for her but he didn't know how much longer he could do this for.


	10. Chapter 10

Everything hurt Erin. All the feelings that she has been bottling up has finally been let loose. She felt hot tears forming in her eyes and hated herself even more for crying over this. She didn't mean to throw him out, she knew she needed him as she was unable to take care of himself but it hurt her to see him give up so much in order to take care of her. Erin was the one who was supposed to give things to Jay, not take things away from him and lately that's all that she has been doing.

"It's for the better," she kept reminding herself over and over in her head as the tears continued to roll down her flushed cheeks. Without even noticing it her hand was still on the door since the time she slammed it shut and put up the barrier between her and Jay.

On the other side of the door sat Jay. His back leaned against the wall and his knees brought up to his chest. He wasn't mad, he wasn't crying, he wasn't feeling anything really. Jay knew Erin and knew this was going to happen, but even after expecting it it still hit him hard. All he could do was replay that moment in his head over and over again.

"Get the hell out! And stay the hell away from me."

He heard the pain in her voice, he saw the hurt in her eyes. Even though he knew he had to be with her, to help her get better, the best thing he could do right now is give her space. So he sat, and waited outside of her door hoping she would open it before it becomes too late. Erin lived in a large apartment building, filled with different kinds of people. From families to college students to single people hoping to find something better in life, you can find all of them in her building and tonight for some odd reason it was quiet. Everything will still and silent, no one running through the halls or on the phone talking. It was just Jay, leaning against the wall, thinking to himself.

Amongst the quietness he heard some sniffles, it sounded like it was coming from her apartment. It was Erin. He could hear her crying it hurt him not to barge in there and hold her in his arms. He let her have her time to calm down before he decided to knock on the door.

Over half an hour had passed and Jay finally heard Erin's sniffling subdue. Of course there weren't only tears, he heard some things crashing and her cursing and it took so much will power out of him to not help her, but now he could. He heard her settle down and quickly got up to his feet. He slowly put his hand flat on the door and sighed before he formed it into a fist and gently knocked on it.

"Erin..." he called out to her. As expected he got no response, this time he knocked a bit harder.

Erin heard the way he called her name, it was more of a plea than anything. He wanted to help so why wouldn't she let him? Why was she making this so hard for the both of them? Why wasn't she ready to just let him back in?

They sat in silence on opposite ends of the door, every so often she would hear him again. Calling her, asking her to open the door, repeating the words "please" and "I'm sorry" until it was burned in her brain.

She was ready to give up. To leave the door and leave his voice. She straightened herself in her chair and wiped the tears away from her face before she began to wheel away from the door. As she did she heard her name being called again. This time the voice was different, it was deeper and more gruff. Voight.

Erin wheeled back to the door and slowly unlocked it, opening it slightly she saw voights figure standing right by it. She couldn't see Jay's face as voight was blocking her vision from him but she knew he was there.

"Uhh, why don't you come back later Jay. I'll talk to her." Voight told Jay and nodded before he entered her apartment.

As he walked into her apartment she wheeled herself over by the island in the kitchen and turned around to face him. He opened the fridge and took out a beer, popping the tab off.

"Hey kid, how're ya feeling?" He asked

Erin just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. She didn't really know how she felt, she was feeling everything at once.

"I don't remember how long it took for me to finally let you take care of me." She began talking. Her eyes stayed focused on the floor but she felt voight's stare on her.

"It took about a few months and a lot of terrible events to happen to you for you to finally realize that I could help you." He helped her remember.

Erin just laughed, "what worse event could happen to me right now other than getting into a car crash and being temporarily paralyzed to make me realize that Jay is only trying to help?"

Voight didn't know how to answer that. In all honesty he was confused himself as to why she wouldn't let Jay take care of her.

They sat in silence before he finally realized what she was doing, "You're building walls Erin. It's what you do, it's what you are good at. And it's going to take some time for him to break them down if you completely shut him out, but let him help you Erin. It's what you both need."

"He doesn't need to help me. He shouldn't have to help me. He needs someone to be there for him, to help him and give him the things he deserves. He deserves love, a friendship, a family. I can't give him that anymore and I know in the long run he will resent me for not being able to give that to him." She finally let it out and it felt like a weight lifted off her shoulders.

"Why don't you tell that to him? You make the poor guy wait hours outside of your door, he's miserable. Call him back, talk to him. Don't put your walls up." Voight reassured her before he gave her a nudge and walked out of the apartment.

He was right and even though she didn't want him to be, she knew he was right too. Lately she's lost everyone and she really did not want to lose Jay too.

She tried to grab her phone that laid on the counter and after a few unsuccessful tries she finally got it. Quickly she looked for Jay's contact number and clicked call. She heard the sound of the dial tone for a couple of times before he picked up.

"Erin?" His voice sounded hoarse, tired, and filled with worry.

"Uh... hey, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming back over." She asked him

"I never left the building, I'll be right up." He hung up the phone and smiled at the fact that she called him first.

In almost a light sprint he got out of his car and made his way the elevator. It wasn't going fast enough for him and his heart was beating faster than it should've.

Unintentionally, he aggressively knocked on her door but slowed it down as he realized what he was doing. She opened the door and it took him a quick second to realize he had to look down to see her again as she was not in his eye level.

He walked inside and she wheeled in behind him.

"You wanted to talk?" He asked, unsure of what was exactly going to happen.

"I'm sorry for kicking you out. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you lately. I know you want to help, I know you want to be there for me but Jay..." she paused looking up at him.

"I want you to stop. I want you to stop helping me, I want you... I need you to go back out there and live your life. This cannot be yourself, losing everything to help me? I can't live to see that Jay. You deserve a lot better."

"Erin what are you talking about? I'm not losing anything to help you."

"Jay... being with me, I can't promise you that I will give you what you need. I can't promise that I will get better one day, better enough to give you enough love, to give you a family, to give you the happy ending that you want. I don't want me to deprive you of that."

"Don't you get it? You are what I need. How do you expect me to just go out there? I won't be able to stop thinking about you because I love you Erin. I will make sure you get better, and this is good for us, you can trust that I will always be there for you and I know you will too. Erin don't throw this away. You aren't doing me any favors by making me leave."

"I'm definitely not doing any favors by making you clean up after me, or helping me do basic stuff that even a little kid can do."

"Stop it Erin! Stop thinking that you are being a burden on me. You are not. I don't know what it's gonna take for you to realize that. The day I decided to be your partner was the day I promised myself, voight, and you that I will take care of you. I will be here when you are at a low and when you are at a high because that is what partners do Erin. We take care of each other. We are each other's backup."

Erin smiled at his last line. He always knew how to tug at her feelings.

"Promise me this..." she began

"Promise me that if I don't show any progress in a few months you won't leave me. Promise me that you won't regret staying with me because I can't trust you now if you are only going to leave me later."

"Erin I promise. I promise to be here today, tomorrow, in a few months, in a few years. I promise to hold you up when you need me to, to be standing with you when you take your first steps again, to be standing at the altar watching you walk down the aisle, and to be holding our little baby next to you. I promise Erin and I hold that promise every day."

"I love you too Jay Halstead." She said before she smiled and tugged on his shirt to bring him closer to her and kissed him again. This was the first time she'd kissed him since the accident. He missed the feeling of her lips against his, her warm taste. He promised himself that he was going to help her get better. She had to.


End file.
